Hold On--Chapter 14

I don’t move despite the fact that the man still stands in front of me. Evil smirk wiped on his face. He’s about to stab me too when a spear gets to him first. Marcus and Olivia walk toward me. I try to sit up only to have my head throb and the world around me spin. Both of their eyes dart to Rose’s motionless body on the ground. I didn’t want to believe it, but I knew it was true. A hand touches my shoulder.

“Are you okay?” Dillon asks gently. How he appeared without me noticing, I don’t know. The bandage I had given him is pressed to his wrist soaked with blood. I shake my head. He pulls me into his arms. Then I realize how angry I am at him and Marcus. Rose’s last memory of them was their argument.

Grief, remorse, anger, and sorrow drown me. It takes a long time but enough ground is unearthed to bury Rose—a task that I couldn’t bring myself to participate in. She’s lifted into the ditch which lies within a group of evergreen trees. The knife had been removed and even though it was a fair weapon, none of us could keep it. I think Marcus stuck it in a random tree. Rose still wears the necklace she got for her birthday. I’d give anything to see her bright hazel eyes and sweet smile again.

I look away while they bury her. We bid our goodbyes, but I don’t say half of what I want to. I want to be alone. The others notice that I don’t follow when they leave, but don’t say anything. Once they are out of sight, I crouch down beside her and weep.

I’m not sure how long I spent crying. I say what I want to say softly, but still out loud. I want her to hear me.

“Rose,” I begin, “the first time I really met you was on the train. When I offered to take you.” I give a sad smile. “I still remember how happy you were. And then we shared our first hug. Then there was your birthday. You were so surprised when you saw the picnic in the meadow. And when you opened the necklace that Dillon gave you.” My smile fades. “When I heard about your father, I felt so bad. I wanted you to know how much I cared about you. It was hard seeing you cry earlier today.” Tears start again. “I’m sure Marcus and Dillon are sorry. You last words stick in my mind. I want you to know that I love you too. I never thought of you as a daughter. More like a sister. Family.” A pang of guilt his me so I add, “Forgive me.” As I blow her a kiss, I hear the rustle of tree branches behind me. The others came back. Though by the looks on their faces, I wonder if they ever left.

They all add to their good-byes. Marcus and Dillon apologize for arguing. It sounded sincere, so I let my anger toward them cease. That leaves my anger toward the man. He was killed, but he took Rose first. Olivia talks about their times baking together.

“It isn’t you fault,” Dillon tells me. If only I could believe that.

“Yes it is,” I disagree. “I could’ve handed her a weapon, or pushed her out of the way or…not have made her worry. But I didn’t.” I turn away so he won’t see the tears streaming down my face.

“But you cared for her,” he says gently, tucking my hair behind my ear. “Probably more than any of us.” Marcus and Olivia nod in agreement. “You took her in. If you didn’t, what would’ve happened?” I don’t answer, but I don’t think he expects me to. “Just remember how much you impacted her life.” Yeah, it was my fault she died, I think. “For the better,” he adds, reading my thoughts. He plants a kiss on my forehead and suggests that we turn in for the night. Before we leave, I take one last look at the spot where Rose was buried.

“Bye Rose,” I whisper. Olivia comes up to me and we hug each other tightly.

“I know how much she meant to you,” she says softly.

“She meant a lot to all of us,” I reply. We both start to cry again.

I can’t bring myself to eat. Nothing feels the same. Rose was quiet, but still had an effect on the room. One that I can only fully appreciate now that she’s gone.

Olivia wraps Dillon’s wound. My head still hurts and there’s a small bump where I had been hit. I offer to watch because there’s no way I’ll be able to sleep with today’s events ready to haunt my dreams.

Everyone else is asleep, which is fine with me. I open my backpack and take out Rose’s handkerchief. As much as I want to keep it, it belongs to her. I hold it close to me and run about fifty yards to where we buried Rose. I get there, exhausted even by such a short distance. Before burying it, I cup the handkerchief around my mouth and whisper,

“I’ll never forget you and I’ll always love you.” I unearth the dirt until I reach her body. The sight makes my eyes sting with tears. Gently, I lift her right hand, and slide the cloth under it. I give her a soft kiss on the cheek and bury her back up.

The chilly night air nips at the bare skin on my face, neck and hands and drifts through my clothes, but I want to stay. Something warm is placed on my shoulders. It’s made out of worn leather.

“Thought you might be here,” Marcus says. He sits next to me on a fallen tree trunk.

“Why’d you get so mad at Dillon?” I blurt out suddenly. “I’m not mad, I just want to know.”

“I was jealous,” he says plainly. So I was right. “You care about Dillon so much.”

“I care about all of you.”

“But Dillon gets your affection.” His words aren’t harsh, but they have a certain sense of power to them.

“Olivia loves you a lot.”

“Maybe a little too much.”

“How so?”

“She says that she’d give up her life for me. Of course I’d do the same, but…” Tears begin to well up in his eyes. “But in truth, not having her would kill me.” He’s shivering and crying at the mere thought of losing Olivia. I pull him into a hug.

“Olivia’s lucky to have a brother like you,” I whisper. For a moment, he doesn’t move, but soon, I feel his strong arms embrace me. He pulls away first.

“Did you do that because you love me?” he asks. This throws me off guard. It takes me a minute to figure out my answer, which isn’t unusual for things that Marcus says.

“No,” I admit. “I did that because I care.” His face remains indifferent. Then he leans in and kisses me on my cheek. “Did you do that because you care?” I say.

“No. I did that because I love you.”

Hold On--Chapter 13

It’s early afternoon, and we’re moving again. Olivia’s question still occupies my mind, but I can’t come up with any answers. The sky is clear and blue like how my mother described my eyes. Now I find that my eyes are usually cloudy with tears. I have a bad feeling about something that I can’t place. Everything has felt a little too calm. We stop for lunch.

“Where are we going?” Rose bursts out. This was a question that had lingered in our minds since we left. There’s a long pause before anyone says anything.

“Away,” Dillon says flatly.

“How do we know we’re not just going in circles?” Marcus asks. “How do we know we’ll ever find anything?”

“There’s got to be something. The forest has to end somewhere,” Dillon answers stiffly.

“How do you know?” Marcus shoots back. Soon they’re in a heated argument. Marcus’s doubt is being taken out on Dillon and Dillon is trying to counter his words. But it seems like more than that. Why are they arguing? They always seemed to get along fine. Then I think that maybe Marcus isn’t filled with doubt as much as jealousy. Maybe this is because of me.

Rose’s lip begins to tremble. It isn’t long before she breaks down and weeps. Olivia and I exchange nervous looks then try to console her. Dillon and Marcus don’t seem to notice.

“Rose, what’s wrong?” I whisper. Then I realize. She grew up around her father fighting with her mother. Olivia and I pull her into a hug. We both try to keep our composure. I stand up, distress turning into anger.

“Guys!” I shout trying to keep my voice steady.

“What?” they stop to answer. I could hear a hint of rage in both of their voices which sends hurt across my face.

“Stop fighting. We have to stick together at times like these.” Dillon’s face softens.

“You’re right,” he says crossing over to me. “Right Marcus?”

“Yeah,” he says under his breath. Rose stops sobbing, but still looks shaken up.

“Why were you guys—”

I’m interrupted by an arrow chopping the air.

I direct Rose to hide as her broken wrist isn’t fit for fighting. The rest of us instinctively ready our weapons. No one comes though. I cautiously peer behind trees and in between bushes.

“Dillon!” I scream. A man is sneaking up on him, knife in hand. Dillon spins around, but their proximity is too great. The man is gripping Dillon by his shirt sleeve and is ready to cut his throat when I shoot him in the neck. He goes down.

“Thanks,” Dillon whispers. There’s no time for anything else to be said, seeing as the first attack got the ball rolling. Four men come into view. None of them seem to possess guns, but they are equipped with numerous knives among other weapons. All four of them charge for Marcus and Olivia who thrust their spears. They miss and the spears land at Dillon’s and my feet. Olivia could run, but Marcus’s ankle is still obstructing his speed. Olivia wouldn't leave her brother though. I see the men whip out their knives so Dillon and I shoot some arrows. Unlike the first man, they have some sort of armor covering their bodies. At least we get their attention. Two men come at us instead.

An arrow narrowly misses Dillon, and then he starts sprinting toward the man with a knife. While they battle it out, I’m left with a man with light brown curls and fierce green eyes. He’s too close to shoot with an arrow. Before I can grab my knife, he swings his own. I duck just in time to avoid a nasty cut.

I hear a cry of pain in the distance. It baffles me at first because I didn’t think Dillon was capable of making such a sound. I race to find him. My attacker tails me though and having my back turned is not an option. There’s enough distance between us now. I load my bow and aim for a part of exposed skin on his neck.

When I reach Dillon, he’s pinned to the ground. His wrist is streaming blood and a used arrow sits about a foot away. I shoot at the man—whose back is turned to me—and send him down. Once I’m sure he’s dead, I rush to Dillon’s side.

“What happened?” I ask.

“Shot in the wrist,” he says with gritted teeth. My dad took an arrow once. He said that it’s best not to pull the arrow out. There’s no use in pointing this out to him though. The damage has been done. I yank the bandage off my arm and hand it to him.

“Use this,” I direct him. “And stay hidden.”

I run off to help Marcus and Olivia if they need it. They’re just coming into view when a fifth man comes out of nowhere and smacks me in the head. Hard. I collapse to the ground. My vision is blurry and my thoughts are cloudy, but I can hear Rose shout my name. The next thing I know, she sits in front of me, but I can’t see anything past her.

“Rose you’ve got to hide,” I croak, knowing the man couldn’t have strayed far. “Just leave me here to—” I can’t bring myself to say the word that follows.

“No,” she says defiantly. “I’m not leaving you. You’re everything my father should’ve been…and I love you for that. I can't leave my family.” My heart melts which partially dulls the pain of the intensifying headache spreading from where the man hit me. My vision clears just in time to see him running toward us with a knife. Rose was sitting in front of me however.

“Rose!” I yell.

But the only thing that changes is where the knife digs into her helpless body.

Hold On--Chapter 12

Morning rolls in after a sleepless night. Everyone gradually wakes up.

“Did you sleep last night? Dillon asks me. I shake my head. His eyes have that sorrowful look in them again.

“We should keep going,” Marcus says. We pack our things and ready our weapons.

I step out of the cave, letting the sunlight warm my face. We’ve run out of food and I hadn’t eaten in days. As we walk, I shoot two squirrels. We stop to clean cook, and eat the meat. No one speaks. What is there to say anyway?

Shortly after, we continue on. I’m not exactly tired, but I’m not alert either. Marcus is still weak on his ankle and needs someone for support. Olivia, Dillon and I take turns helping him along. It may have been my imagination, but it seems as though he held on tighter and closer to me than the others.

Here we are. Five people. Orphans. Friends. Family. Wounded, winded, and grieving. We didn’t know where we were going, but we knew we couldn’t go back. There isn’t anything left to go back to. Everything we knew when we were younger is gone. Our village. Our homes. Our parents.

The sun is hot on our faces despite the cold nights. I grow weary after a while. The bow and arrow in my hands sags from its ready position. My pace slows.

“Look,” Rose remarks pointing ahead. As we walk further, a lake, not too large, comes into view. The water is crystal clear. We give into the temptation. Shoes and socks are thrown off; sleeves and pant legs are being rolled up. I dip my feet in the water. It’s cool, but not cold. I splash some on my face, embracing the refreshing feel on my tired eyes and the sweet taste on my lips. A sweetness all too similar to Dillon’s kiss. A sweetness that calms my nerves, but also sends butterflies loose in my stomach.

I bend down to dip my hands in, letting the water wash away the dirt and grime from under my nails and on my open palms. In a way though, my hands are still clenched shut. Not letting the water wash away the memories that I hold onto.

Suddenly, a wave of water hits me from every direction. I look up and find the others grinning.

“Couldn’t resist,” Rose giggles. They’ve soaked my hair, but it feels good, and my clothes, but I don’t care. I wad to the knee-deep water where Dillon, Olivia and Rose stand. But first, I hold my hand out to Marcus to help him, and he gladly accepts.

My hands are still in tight fists, holding on to memories, but momentarily, my face has opened, letting go of the situation.

We playfully splash each other until we get a combination of hungry, tired, cold, and wet from head to toe. For dinner Dillon and I snag a total of three rabbits and a squirrel and Olivia had found a blackberry bush. We shovel down our food as the fire warms us and dries our clothes.

After dousing the fire, we settle in the underbrush close to the lake just as the sun sets and the stars appear. I’m exhausted, but I don’t want the day to slip away. I think the others feel the same way. No one offers to watch because no one plans on sleeping for a while. This was the first time since we’d fled I’d felt remotely happy.

We all lie on our backs gazing at the stars. Olivia moves closer to her brother for warmth and Rose does so with me. I fight against my desire to sleep. But my desire to keep the day alive is stronger.

“My father taught me a few constellations,” I comment. Rose sighs and I pull her into a hug. “That group of starts that look like a ladle is Ursa Major,” I tell them. “And the smaller one is Ursa Minor. The bright star at the tip of the handle is the North star.” I fall silent after that.

When I was nine, I woke up in the middle of the night from a nightmare. I’d woken my father up too. He wrapped a blanket around me and took me outside. We sat in front of the house looking up the stars. He showed me, Ursa Major, Ursa Minor, Orion, and Pisces, which is my zodiac sign. Then he said, “The night sky is beautiful isn’t it?” I nod in awe. “Tonight I get to be with the beautiful night sky and my beautiful Skye,” he told me.

I let myself drift off after some time, though it seems as if I’m just waking up. As if the lake was a dream and my nightmare of gunshots, bombs, and deaths is reality. But at one point, it was.

I wake with a start and have to look around me to reassure myself that no one is missing.

“You okay?” Olivia asks. Her green eyes pierce the darkness.

“Somewhat,” I answer. “I’ll keep watch. You can sleep.”

“I’m not sure I can,” she sighs.

“I know what you mean.”

“I’m so afraid of losing you guys. Especially Marcus. He’s always out protecting me. He’d die before any harm could come to me.” Tears start welling up in her eyes.

“I know what you mean.” A faint smile forms on her face.

“Dillon?” she teases. I blush, but smile too.

“How do you know?”

“How could I not know?” She had a point there, I guess. “How to you deal with it? This whole situation, I mean.”

“I’m not sure I do. I get nightmares every night, and if you haven’t noticed, I don’t really hide my feelings.”

“I wish I could just escape the terror of it all.”

“Who Wouldn’t?”

“Why us? Why are they after us?” This was a question that hadn’t really crossed my mind, but now that it has, I need an answer.

“I wish I knew.”

Hold On--Chapter 11

I feel myself lying in the soft green grass of the meadow. Around me birds sing. Puffy white clouds sit in the blue sky. My parents are lying beside me. Holding me tightly. There’s no way this is real. Unless. Unless I’m dead. Am I?

As if and answer, the meadow scene vanishes along with the sight of my parents and I open my eyes. I’m lying in the cave with my head resting on my backpack. Dillon sits beside me and soon the others crowd around me too.

“How long was I out?” I ask.

“Almost two days,” Dillon answers.

“What?” I ask in astonishment, sitting up. Almost immediately I’m overcome with dizziness and collapse back down. “How?”

“One man hit you with a blow dart with some sort of drug that put you under,” Olivia explains

“What happened after that?” I ask. They don’t skimp on the details when they tell me.

Once I was knocked out, Dillon came to. He started struggling until Olivia cut the ropes. The sight of me motionless on the ground must’ve worried him. One man was about to finish me off with a knife, but Dillon guarded me. The man had cut him in the back, where there was now a long, but not very deep, cut. With her good arm, Olivia used her new spear skills to send the man down. The last man was said to put up a good fight. He threw knives them, shot arrows, flung spears, lashed whips. Olivia had gotten whipped, Marcus was cut, and Dillon had gotten too close to him and was punched in the face. That was when Rose came out of her apparently beneficial hiding spot. She grabbed a knife that had been wedged in a tree and threw it at the man when his back was turned toward her. He falls down, dead. Dillon scooped me up in his arms and carried me back to the cave. Marcus was limping behind him with Olivia helping him and Rose hobbling along behind them.

“Are you guys all okay?” I ask. Everyone gives different responses.

“More or less,” Marcus says. He had a cut on his arm and took a bullet in his ankle, which affected his walking.

“Well we did get the group’s first aid kit,” Olivia says, trying to brighten the situation. “It was loaded with bandages and some antiseptic.” She had her share of wounds as well. A bullet grazed her shoulder and she had a handful of lashes on her left arm.

“My wrist kinda hurts,” Rose sighs. Her wrist was in a thick white bandage. It was broken.

“I was just so afraid you were dead,” Dillon remarks. His eyes show pain. “I’m okay now though.” As well as a cut down his back, he had a bruise on one cheek, and a welt on the other.

“What about you Skye?” Rose asks. I try to sit up again, but need Dillon’s support. My arm still aches and my head throbs. As I reach up to my forehead, where the pain is, I feel a bandage. I then recall being cut by one of the men before I was knocked out.

“Just a little dizzy, that’s all.” The expression on Dillon’s face shows that he knows it’s more than that, but he doesn’t say anything. I hate making people worry, it always gives me a sense of weakness for both me and the other person, so I try to hide any reason for people to. But Dillon knows me too well.

The drug knocked me out again and by the time I wake up, it’s dark. A worn leather jacket rests on top of me.

“Good morning,” a voice behind me comments. It’s Marcus.

“Is this yours?” I ask holding up the jacket.

“Yeah it was my dad’s,” he says fingering the mangy leather. “Are you alright? You were shivering.”

“I guess it gets cold at night. Why don’t you get some sleep?”

“You sure?”

“I’ve slept for like two days and I’m feeling better.” Not a total lie. The dizziness had subsided.

“Okay, goodnight.” He lies down next to Olivia and falls asleep.

I sit near the entrance of the cave, letting the moonlight illuminate my face. I get a grasp on how afraid I really am. And now the scenes from a few days ago are etched in my mind. Rose’s swelling wrist. Olivia and Marcus getting shot. Dillon tied to a tree unconscious. I’m afraid that I’ll lose them like I lost my family. No. I can’t let that happen. Why did Dillon take the blow for me? Easy. He wanted to protect me. I lean over his sleeping body and kiss him on the bruise on his cheek.

“Why?” I whisper, despite the fact I had already found my answer. But what was the question I really wanted an answer for. Even I couldn’t seem to figure that out. His eyelids flicker open. He smiles up at me.

“It’s about time,” he whispers. Does he mean it’s about time I woke up, or that it’s about time I kissed him myself?

“What do you—” I start to ask. His smile fades.

“What’s wrong?” he asks gently. How can he read me so well? Then I realize the tears rolling down my cheeks.

“I’m scared,” I say feebly “of losing you guys.”

“Everything will be alright.” He sits up and hugs me. “I promise.”

I remember my father saying exactly that when I was six. Something had caused the game to flee, leaving the village on the brink of starvation. My dad sat me in his lap one night in front of the fire. I asked him if everything would turn out okay. He promised it would. But in truth, nothing turned out okay.

For a while, we just sit there—me still wrapped up in his arms. As much as I want his company, I finally say,

“Go back to sleep.” He doesn’t argue and the dark circles under his eyes tell me he never sleeps much. I actually feel guilty for sleeping so long even it was because of a drug. “But promise me something else first.”

“Anything.”

“Don’t risk your life for me again.” He shakes his head.

“That’s one thing I can’t promise you Skye.”

No one wakes up after that and I don’t bother to wake anyone. I don’t think I’ll find sleep anyway. And if I do it’ll bring nightmares. The kind that I feel I will never truly wake up from.