Find Me--Chapter 10 ~Skye~

There’s a knock on the door early the next morning. I sit on my bed hugging my knees as Dillon opens the door. It’s Marcus. If he’s surprised to see Dillon, it doesn’t show, but I notice a change in his expression. I get up and walk toward the door, the wound throbbing under the bandage wrapped around my ankle as I do.

            “Hi,” I say, plainly. Marcus flashes a faint smile, but he looks drained; he was probably awake all night, making sure Olivia was doing okay.

            “What is it?” Dillon asks him. “Is something wrong?”

            “It’s Scarlet,” he answers. “She…” he trails off, begins to bite his lip, and his eyes fall to the floor. “She died last night,” he murmurs. I clasp my hand over my mouth and a cold, empty feeling rushes through me. Tears dribble down my face. The only thought that I could muster up is that this was all our fault.

            “They’re having a small service for her,” Marcus adds after a while. Dillon I both nod, and step out of the room, shutting the door behind us. I try to hide the pain that comes with simply walking, but it’s hard to ignore. It must show on my face since the two of them are at my side supporting me.   

            Marcus leads us to a door that I had never noticed before, and out to a large, thick trunked oak tree and everyone standing in its shade. I feel weak at the sight of the white sheet covering Scarlet’s body that’s lying on the grass. Olivia, whose condition has improved greatly, comes over to us, face damp with tears. Chase, Isaac, and Seth set down their shovels and gently lift Scarlet into the ditch they had just dug. Tears are shed all around. They then pile the dirt back on top of the sheet and pat it down. Violet unearths a bit of the dirt, and plants some scarlet colored flowers. Where she got them, I have no idea.

            Everyone’s silent, but all of the unspoken words of sympathy and remembrance hang in the air.

            “Scarlet was one of my best friends here,” Rae chokes out between bursts of tears.

            “She was a friend to everyone,” Seth continues.

            “She was great person to be around, even just for the short time that I’d known her,” Olivia chimes in, drying her tears.

            “She had a way of staying positive, even in bad situations,” Chase adds. I feel as if I should say something too, since Scarlet really was a nice person, but the only thing I can think to say at the moment is that I’m sorry I contributed to your death.

            Hugs are given to Violet before we go back inside. She stays behind while the rest of us somberly make our way to the dining hall. During breakfast, Headmistress Baumann comes in with an entourage of officials.

            “Attention!” she booms. Her voice projects throughout the silent room. “Due to yesterday’s events, you have the day off.” You’d expect cheers to erupt, but instead, people turn and murmur to each other. “Something else will be arranged, but in the meantime, you are instructed to stay inside, either in here, the common rooms, or your own rooms.” With that, she leaves. I’m surprised that she’s actually just letting us do whatever we want for the day, but I’m grateful for the free time.

            We settle down in one of the common rooms. No one knows what to say; we’re all still distraught over the attack yesterday and Scarlet’s death. After a while, I get up and decide to go see Violet. I’m pretty sure everyone notices me leaving, but no one makes any sort of remark. I struggle down the vacant hallways and out the door, disregarding the fact that we’re supposed to stay inside.

I approach Violet sitting by Scarlet’s grave.

            “Hey,” I say, sitting down next to her.

            “Hi,” she responds distantly. We sit there in silence for a minute.

            “I’m sorry,” I tell her. It’s a horrible thing to say. Those words don’t have any affect at all. Saying that you’re sorry just can’t describe the feeling you get when you lose someone you love.

            “Thanks,” she says. I can tell that she’s just trying to be nice and that she’s thinking the same thing I am. Another moment of silence passes.

            “I know what it feels like; to lose someone you love.” She doesn’t respond, and I don’t blame her. I just don’t know the right things to say to console someone, which I find pretty ridiculous considering I spent most of my time with Dillon, Marcus, and Olivia who are in the same position as I am.

            Then it hits me how selfish I am. I cry over my parents and all that’s happening while Dillon comforts me when he probably feels the same pain I feel.

            “How do you handle it?” I ask her. She looks at me in confusion. “I mean, it’s been so long since my parents died, and I’m still shaken up about it. I wish I were stronger…like you.” She gives me a faint smile.

            “Well, you’re under different circumstances,” she points out, “and I’m usually not one to show my emotions, but strength isn’t simply the ability to keep your composure. Strength, to me, is encountering something that tries to knock you down, but you manage to stay standing; even if you stumble along the way.” I sit there and take in her words. Violet was right.

            After ten minutes or so, I get up.

            “It’s getting late; we should probably go back inside.”

            “You go ahead,” she says, “I’m gonna stay out here.”

            “Okay.” I stand by the door, but before going in I add, “Thanks.”

            “No problem,” she replies, giving me a weak smile.

            I still have time before curfew, so I go back to the common room to find Dillon.

            “Hey,” he remarks. “Where were you?”

            “I’m sorry,” I blurt out. He takes me in his arms.

            “For what?”

            “I’m selfish and I haven’t even considered how you or Marcus or Olivia are taking everything I just break down and cry and then you come to calm me down and I forget how you’re going through the same thing and—”

            “Oh Skye,” he says, holding me tighter and stroking my hair. I let tears escape; knowing that this was a bad time to start crying, but something in me couldn’t help it.

            “I’m sorry,” I whisper again, voice shaking.

            “You have nothing to be sorry about,” he says, stroking my hair. “I know you’d do the same for me.” It had never crossed my mind before, but I realize that I would do the same.

            If Dillon were the one feeling dejected all the time, I would try to comfort him. If he were the one who was so unreachable, I would try to get through to him. If he were the one who didn’t have the heart to love someone because of everything else that had to be dealt with, I would love him despite that. 

 (Author's note: I'm not particularly happy with how this chapter turned out. Probably has something to do with the fact that i started this over the summer and am just finishing it now)

♥Skittlez

Find Me--Chapter 6 ~Skye~

I’m not sure how they did it, but they found us. Part of me wanted to break down, run away and sob, but the other part of me screamed “be strong”. We can’t hide forever.

That night after dinner, I told Olivia about the broken window and bullet holes in the wall.

“What?” she asked with a mixture of shock and terror. “What are we supposed to do now?” I shake my head. I don’t know. She turns away and looks out the small window absolutely still.

I get up and walk to the far side of the room, away from everyone else. I can’t hide forever, but I suppose I can for now.

“Skye,” I hear Dillon whisper. I turn to face him, puffy-eyed. “Come with me.” He reaches his hand out to me, and I don’t hesitate to take it. We walk out of the common room and he leads me up the stairs.

“Where are we going?” I ask, confused.

“You’ll see,” he responds, squeezing my hand tighter.

After climbing four flights of stairs, we come to a long, narrow hallway. Dillon creaks open the door at the end of the hall with the words “Do not pass” spray-painted on it, making me a bit skeptical.

“Close your eyes,” he whispers. I shut my eyes, and then feel a blast of cool air in my face. He leads me forward and then says, “Okay, you can look now.”

When I open my eyes, I look down and see the perfectly uniform rows of farmland and thick trees from the nearby forest. Then, my gaze shifting higher, I see the paved roads running through the rolling hills leading up to the city skyline; dark, towering buildings each dotted with tiny, bright lights.

We aren’t that far into the country, but we were just far enough from the city to see the night sky at its best. It was a clear day today, resulting in dozens of stars twinkling above us. The full moon took center stage, shining the brightest in the jet black sky. I search for familiar constellations, and feel the comforting sensation of being back at home. A faint smile creeps on my face as I pick out Pisces in the mass of stars.

“I knew you’d like it,” Dillon says while my neck was still craned and my eyes glued on the sky.

“I don’t like it,” I reply. I hated being cooped up in the stale basement factory all day. I have wanted to get outside since I stepped foot in the building, and the tiny window in my room doesn’t satisfy me. And now I got to see the beautiful night sky. I didn’t just like it out here.

I take my eyes off of the stars and look straight into Dillon’s ocean blue eyes.

“I love it,” I finish.

He holds his other hand out to me. I’m a bit confused at first, but when I figure out what he’s asking, I smile. I take his hand and we start dancing; just like at the dance in early April except now there’s no music, no lanterns, and no other people. It’s almost hard to remember that night. Though it wasn’t even a month ago, so much has happened since then. Dancing on the small stone balcony reminded me how it was one possible to not have to worry all the time. And how impossible that seemed now.

We sit down on the cold surface of the balcony a few minutes later. Though it’s spring, the nights are still chilly. Dillon holds me close to him; I must’ve been shivering.

“Do you think we’ll ever get back home?” I ask him. He looks out into the distance, as if figuring out how far away home was. Then he looks at me.

“You’ll get back home, Skye, I’ll make sure of it,” he answers. Something in his voice, his gaze, told me he was dead serious. He would do anything for me to get me home safely.

“Don’t say that,” I whisper, voice breaking.

“Well, what else can I say?” he asks me. I don’t know what to tell him, so I just sit there wrapped in his arms in the cool spring night. Now I understand what Marcus was telling me about; about loving someone too much.

“How would we escape?” I ask him after a while.

“I’m not totally sure yet, but we have to do it soon,” he replies. “You, me, Marcus, Olivia…we can do it. We can make it back to the village and then we can figure out what to do about the men.”

“But what about Chase and Scarlet and Violet and Lyra and—” I begin to object.

“We can’t have more than the four of us. We wouldn’t move fast enough and more people missing would be more noticeable,” he points out. I know he’s right, but I still can’t settle with leaving them behind.

“You saw those bullet holes,” I say, pain in my voice. “We can’t just leave them here. Who knows what kind of danger they could be in.”

“Don’t you think we’re in more danger?” he asks me, strength clear in his voice. “They’re after us, not them.” We’re both on our feet now and his arms are no longer surrounding me.

“We can’t just leave them here!” I nearly shout at him. “They can’t defend themselves and you’ve seen what those men are willing to do.” They’re willing to kill.

“Well why don’t we just take everyone in the building?” he shouts back. “Do you want to survive or not?” Something about the force he spoke with made me recoil.

“Haven’t you thought of how many people they’ve killed?” I ask him, softer. “I don’t want anyone else I care about have to face them unarmed.” I managed to keep my voice steady, but a tear slides down my cheek. He’s about to argue with me, but then I see his face soften.

“Oh, Skye,” he says gently, moving towards me. He understands why I can’t bear to leave them behind. I can’t leave them in the mens’ path unarmed like how I left Rose. And that caused her death. He understands this now, but now it’s too late.

I throw open the door and sprint down the stairs, smearing tears across my cheek and the back of my hand alike in attempt to dry them. Whether he followed me after I left or not, I’ll never know. I didn’t look back, I just ran to my room.

Scarlet, Violet, and Olivia are already there when I slam the door shut. My bed creaks as I collapse onto it, face buried in the pillow.

“Skye?” Olivia says. I could feel her eyes looking down on me. “What happened? Where were you tonight?” I roll onto my back and face her and Violet and Scarlet who have crowded around me too. I don’t want to be rude, but I really only want to tell Olivia what happened. She’d probably be the only person who’d understand. Before I can say anything though, there’s a knock on the door. Violet turns to answer and Scarlet follows.

“It’s almost curfew,” I hear Violet say plainly to whoever was at the door.

“I have to talk to Skye,” Dillon says. I guess he did follow me.

“What’s there to say?” I ask him. He looks pleadingly at Violet, who gives a sigh and lets him in. He walks over to me and sits next to me on my bed. There isn’t much privacy in a bedroom shared with three other people, but Violet, Scarlet and Olivia move to the other side of the room, though it isn’t that far away, so Dillon and I can talk. Or rather, he can try to talk to me.

“Skye, I’m so sorry,” he tells me, anger vanished from his voice. “I didn’t know—”

“No, of course you didn’t know,” I cut him off feeling more hurt than mad now. “Sometimes you just don’t understand. Sometimes you just get caught up in—”

He kisses me with so much want and desire that it’s almost overwhelming. I pull away.

“I love you,” he whispers. Something I already know. The clock on the wall reads nine, and Violet opens the door and motions for Dillon to leave. He hugs me, and I hug back.

“I really am sorry,” he says again. Then he leaves.

Rose was in my dream that night. But it was a horrifying dream. “Why didn’t you save me?” she screamed at me. “I’m dead because of you!” Then Scarlet, Violet, Chase, Lyra, and the others appeared shouting, “You can’t leave us behind! We’ll be dead just like Rose!”

I woke up and wept.

Find Me--Chapter 2 ~Skye~

I’ve never felt so clueless, so afraid, in my life. I had no idea where we were. Or where they were.

As night was rolling in, a nurse who came to check on Marcus ordered me and Dillon out and back to our own rooms. When we reach mine, Dillon stops me after I open the door.

“Wait.”

“What?” I ask him. He brushes the hair off my cheek and plants a kiss on it. Before I can say anything, he’s gone.

I climb into bed, trying to ignore the pain from every open wound that had been stitched shut. I close my eyes, only to find that sleep is out of the question. Scarlet seemed nice, but I just couldn’t trust her yet. Trust. Happiness. Love. They were all being contradicted by the fear that was eating my insides. I realize how much I didn’t want to be alone. How much I fear something will happen to Olivia, Marcus, or Dillon and I wouldn’t be there to save them. Like Rose.

I feel so trapped in my tiny room. Trapped, but still as vulnerable. My body complains as I start to pace around the room. My head most of all still throbs with pain. For the first time, I notice my backpack thrown on a chair and that my necklace is no longer around my neck. As I sort through its contents, and thankfully find my necklace, the door creaks open. I turn with a start.

“Just me,” Marcus whispers.

“What are you doing here? I ask him. He limps over to me, trying to hide grimaces of pain. He kneels down on the floor so that we’re face to face.

“Isn’t it obvious?” he asks with a faint smile. “I wanted to see you.” His eyes train me. They follow as I look across his face; from his matted chestnut waves to his lips that had once touched my cheek. I look down at the necklace.

“Allow me,” he says softly. He slides behind me and sweeps my blonde hair in front of my shoulder. Then he grabs the necklace from my hand, drapes it in front of me, and fastens the clasp. As I turn to face him, he gathers up my hair and lets it loose down my back. Marcus’s face, illuminated by the moonlight shining through the small window, holds a look I can’t exactly define. Compassion, maybe.

“Does Dillon hate me?” he asks.

“No,” I answer truthfully. “He just loves me.” I couldn’t look at him when I uttered those words.

“What about you? How do you feel?” he tilts my chin up and I have no choice but to lay my eyes on him.

“Deathly afraid,” I whisper. He pulls me into his arms and holds me tightly as I do the same.

I didn’t remember getting back into bed or falling asleep. But the next thing I know, the sun’s rays replace the moonlight. My head rests on Marcus’s good leg. I didn’t remember him staying either.

“Did you sleep last night?” I ask him.

“I think it’d be better if I didn’t answer that,” he says. That meant no. The clock beside me flashes 6:30.

“You still have time to get some rest.”

“I’ll be fine. Actually, I should go back to my room. Olivia might worry.” I slowly lift my head, which still pounds with pain. I let him lean on my shoulder as we slowly hobble back to his room.

“See you later,” he says outside the door. He gives me the lightest of kisses on my forehead before stepping inside.

When I get back to my room, a tray with a bowl of oatmeal and a glass of water sits on the bedside table. I shovel down spoonfuls of oatmeal and take swigs of water until the bowl and glass are empty. The oatmeal didn’t have much flavor, but was food nonetheless.

I lie down on my bed and stare at the ceiling. What if we weren’t brought here? What if none of this ever happened? If I were still living with Rose, three doors down from Marcus and Olivia, across the way from Dillon. If we hadn’t encountered the men from the other village. If Rose and everyone’s parents were still alive.

In the midst of my thoughts, I find sleep.

“Skye,” Olivia says in a loud whisper as she gently shakes my shoulder. When I open my eyes, it’s nine-thirty.

The four of us find our way to the headmistress’s office. We exit the infirmary and walk down many maple wood door lined halls. There’s no one around. After wandering around for quite a while, we find her office on the top floor of the building.

“There are over two hundred kids here,” the headmistress says once we’re seated in her office. Her name is Evangeline Baumann, but we are to call her Headmistress Baumann. She had long, flawless black hair that swept behind her like a cape when she walked from Marcus to Dillon. From one side to the other. “All orphans or runaways. All without parents. All alone.” Her strong voice. The stiff expression on her face. The fact I didn’t know where we were. The fact I was about to find out. It all scares me. “We put you to work so you have a purpose here. Please fill these out for your records.” She shoves four papers and pens toward us, then steps out of the room, shutting the door behind her.

All the forms asked about was our name, age, birthday, where we lived, and why we were alone. Then, we waited restlessly for her to return. Work? What kind of work? How long were we supposed to stay here? The door clicks open and Headmistress Baumann glides in holding a cup of coffee. She scoops up our papers, takes a quick glance at them, then places four new sheets of paper in front of us.

“Here are you room numbers, the schedules for each day, and some rules. Now go get your things and find your rooms. Lunch is at twelve sharp.

After I got my backpack and the others got their things, we set off to find our rooms. The boys’ rooms are on the fourth floor and girls’ rooms on the third. Olivia and I push open the door to room 326, but I didn’t want to go in.

I wanted to go home.