Find Me--Chapter 10 ~Skye~

There’s a knock on the door early the next morning. I sit on my bed hugging my knees as Dillon opens the door. It’s Marcus. If he’s surprised to see Dillon, it doesn’t show, but I notice a change in his expression. I get up and walk toward the door, the wound throbbing under the bandage wrapped around my ankle as I do.

            “Hi,” I say, plainly. Marcus flashes a faint smile, but he looks drained; he was probably awake all night, making sure Olivia was doing okay.

            “What is it?” Dillon asks him. “Is something wrong?”

            “It’s Scarlet,” he answers. “She…” he trails off, begins to bite his lip, and his eyes fall to the floor. “She died last night,” he murmurs. I clasp my hand over my mouth and a cold, empty feeling rushes through me. Tears dribble down my face. The only thought that I could muster up is that this was all our fault.

            “They’re having a small service for her,” Marcus adds after a while. Dillon I both nod, and step out of the room, shutting the door behind us. I try to hide the pain that comes with simply walking, but it’s hard to ignore. It must show on my face since the two of them are at my side supporting me.   

            Marcus leads us to a door that I had never noticed before, and out to a large, thick trunked oak tree and everyone standing in its shade. I feel weak at the sight of the white sheet covering Scarlet’s body that’s lying on the grass. Olivia, whose condition has improved greatly, comes over to us, face damp with tears. Chase, Isaac, and Seth set down their shovels and gently lift Scarlet into the ditch they had just dug. Tears are shed all around. They then pile the dirt back on top of the sheet and pat it down. Violet unearths a bit of the dirt, and plants some scarlet colored flowers. Where she got them, I have no idea.

            Everyone’s silent, but all of the unspoken words of sympathy and remembrance hang in the air.

            “Scarlet was one of my best friends here,” Rae chokes out between bursts of tears.

            “She was a friend to everyone,” Seth continues.

            “She was great person to be around, even just for the short time that I’d known her,” Olivia chimes in, drying her tears.

            “She had a way of staying positive, even in bad situations,” Chase adds. I feel as if I should say something too, since Scarlet really was a nice person, but the only thing I can think to say at the moment is that I’m sorry I contributed to your death.

            Hugs are given to Violet before we go back inside. She stays behind while the rest of us somberly make our way to the dining hall. During breakfast, Headmistress Baumann comes in with an entourage of officials.

            “Attention!” she booms. Her voice projects throughout the silent room. “Due to yesterday’s events, you have the day off.” You’d expect cheers to erupt, but instead, people turn and murmur to each other. “Something else will be arranged, but in the meantime, you are instructed to stay inside, either in here, the common rooms, or your own rooms.” With that, she leaves. I’m surprised that she’s actually just letting us do whatever we want for the day, but I’m grateful for the free time.

            We settle down in one of the common rooms. No one knows what to say; we’re all still distraught over the attack yesterday and Scarlet’s death. After a while, I get up and decide to go see Violet. I’m pretty sure everyone notices me leaving, but no one makes any sort of remark. I struggle down the vacant hallways and out the door, disregarding the fact that we’re supposed to stay inside.

I approach Violet sitting by Scarlet’s grave.

            “Hey,” I say, sitting down next to her.

            “Hi,” she responds distantly. We sit there in silence for a minute.

            “I’m sorry,” I tell her. It’s a horrible thing to say. Those words don’t have any affect at all. Saying that you’re sorry just can’t describe the feeling you get when you lose someone you love.

            “Thanks,” she says. I can tell that she’s just trying to be nice and that she’s thinking the same thing I am. Another moment of silence passes.

            “I know what it feels like; to lose someone you love.” She doesn’t respond, and I don’t blame her. I just don’t know the right things to say to console someone, which I find pretty ridiculous considering I spent most of my time with Dillon, Marcus, and Olivia who are in the same position as I am.

            Then it hits me how selfish I am. I cry over my parents and all that’s happening while Dillon comforts me when he probably feels the same pain I feel.

            “How do you handle it?” I ask her. She looks at me in confusion. “I mean, it’s been so long since my parents died, and I’m still shaken up about it. I wish I were stronger…like you.” She gives me a faint smile.

            “Well, you’re under different circumstances,” she points out, “and I’m usually not one to show my emotions, but strength isn’t simply the ability to keep your composure. Strength, to me, is encountering something that tries to knock you down, but you manage to stay standing; even if you stumble along the way.” I sit there and take in her words. Violet was right.

            After ten minutes or so, I get up.

            “It’s getting late; we should probably go back inside.”

            “You go ahead,” she says, “I’m gonna stay out here.”

            “Okay.” I stand by the door, but before going in I add, “Thanks.”

            “No problem,” she replies, giving me a weak smile.

            I still have time before curfew, so I go back to the common room to find Dillon.

            “Hey,” he remarks. “Where were you?”

            “I’m sorry,” I blurt out. He takes me in his arms.

            “For what?”

            “I’m selfish and I haven’t even considered how you or Marcus or Olivia are taking everything I just break down and cry and then you come to calm me down and I forget how you’re going through the same thing and—”

            “Oh Skye,” he says, holding me tighter and stroking my hair. I let tears escape; knowing that this was a bad time to start crying, but something in me couldn’t help it.

            “I’m sorry,” I whisper again, voice shaking.

            “You have nothing to be sorry about,” he says, stroking my hair. “I know you’d do the same for me.” It had never crossed my mind before, but I realize that I would do the same.

            If Dillon were the one feeling dejected all the time, I would try to comfort him. If he were the one who was so unreachable, I would try to get through to him. If he were the one who didn’t have the heart to love someone because of everything else that had to be dealt with, I would love him despite that. 

 (Author's note: I'm not particularly happy with how this chapter turned out. Probably has something to do with the fact that i started this over the summer and am just finishing it now)

♥Skittlez