I don’t move despite the fact that the man still stands in front of me. Evil smirk wiped on his face. He’s about to stab me too when a spear gets to him first. Marcus and Olivia walk toward me. I try to sit up only to have my head throb and the world around me spin. Both of their eyes dart to Rose’s motionless body on the ground. I didn’t want to believe it, but I knew it was true. A hand touches my shoulder.
“Are you okay?” Dillon asks gently. How he appeared without me noticing, I don’t know. The bandage I had given him is pressed to his wrist soaked with blood. I shake my head. He pulls me into his arms. Then I realize how angry I am at him and Marcus. Rose’s last memory of them was their argument.
Grief, remorse, anger, and sorrow drown me. It takes a long time but enough ground is unearthed to bury Rose—a task that I couldn’t bring myself to participate in. She’s lifted into the ditch which lies within a group of evergreen trees. The knife had been removed and even though it was a fair weapon, none of us could keep it. I think Marcus stuck it in a random tree. Rose still wears the necklace she got for her birthday. I’d give anything to see her bright hazel eyes and sweet smile again.
I look away while they bury her. We bid our goodbyes, but I don’t say half of what I want to. I want to be alone. The others notice that I don’t follow when they leave, but don’t say anything. Once they are out of sight, I crouch down beside her and weep.
I’m not sure how long I spent crying. I say what I want to say softly, but still out loud. I want her to hear me.
“Rose,” I begin, “the first time I really met you was on the train. When I offered to take you.” I give a sad smile. “I still remember how happy you were. And then we shared our first hug. Then there was your birthday. You were so surprised when you saw the picnic in the meadow. And when you opened the necklace that Dillon gave you.” My smile fades. “When I heard about your father, I felt so bad. I wanted you to know how much I cared about you. It was hard seeing you cry earlier today.” Tears start again. “I’m sure Marcus and Dillon are sorry. You last words stick in my mind. I want you to know that I love you too. I never thought of you as a daughter. More like a sister. Family.” A pang of guilt his me so I add, “Forgive me.” As I blow her a kiss, I hear the rustle of tree branches behind me. The others came back. Though by the looks on their faces, I wonder if they ever left.
They all add to their good-byes. Marcus and Dillon apologize for arguing. It sounded sincere, so I let my anger toward them cease. That leaves my anger toward the man. He was killed, but he took Rose first. Olivia talks about their times baking together.
“It isn’t you fault,” Dillon tells me. If only I could believe that.
“Yes it is,” I disagree. “I could’ve handed her a weapon, or pushed her out of the way or…not have made her worry. But I didn’t.” I turn away so he won’t see the tears streaming down my face.
“But you cared for her,” he says gently, tucking my hair behind my ear. “Probably more than any of us.” Marcus and Olivia nod in agreement. “You took her in. If you didn’t, what would’ve happened?” I don’t answer, but I don’t think he expects me to. “Just remember how much you impacted her life.” Yeah, it was my fault she died, I think. “For the better,” he adds, reading my thoughts. He plants a kiss on my forehead and suggests that we turn in for the night. Before we leave, I take one last look at the spot where Rose was buried.
“Bye Rose,” I whisper. Olivia comes up to me and we hug each other tightly.
“I know how much she meant to you,” she says softly.
“She meant a lot to all of us,” I reply. We both start to cry again.
I can’t bring myself to eat. Nothing feels the same. Rose was quiet, but still had an effect on the room. One that I can only fully appreciate now that she’s gone.
Olivia wraps Dillon’s wound. My head still hurts and there’s a small bump where I had been hit. I offer to watch because there’s no way I’ll be able to sleep with today’s events ready to haunt my dreams.
Everyone else is asleep, which is fine with me. I open my backpack and take out Rose’s handkerchief. As much as I want to keep it, it belongs to her. I hold it close to me and run about fifty yards to where we buried Rose. I get there, exhausted even by such a short distance. Before burying it, I cup the handkerchief around my mouth and whisper,
“I’ll never forget you and I’ll always love you.” I unearth the dirt until I reach her body. The sight makes my eyes sting with tears. Gently, I lift her right hand, and slide the cloth under it. I give her a soft kiss on the cheek and bury her back up.
The chilly night air nips at the bare skin on my face, neck and hands and drifts through my clothes, but I want to stay. Something warm is placed on my shoulders. It’s made out of worn leather.
“Thought you might be here,” Marcus says. He sits next to me on a fallen tree trunk.
“Why’d you get so mad at Dillon?” I blurt out suddenly. “I’m not mad, I just want to know.”
“I was jealous,” he says plainly. So I was right. “You care about Dillon so much.”
“I care about all of you.”
“But Dillon gets your affection.” His words aren’t harsh, but they have a certain sense of power to them.
“Olivia loves you a lot.”
“Maybe a little too much.”
“How so?”
“She says that she’d give up her life for me. Of course I’d do the same, but…” Tears begin to well up in his eyes. “But in truth, not having her would kill me.” He’s shivering and crying at the mere thought of losing Olivia. I pull him into a hug.
“Olivia’s lucky to have a brother like you,” I whisper. For a moment, he doesn’t move, but soon, I feel his strong arms embrace me. He pulls away first.
“Did you do that because you love me?” he asks. This throws me off guard. It takes me a minute to figure out my answer, which isn’t unusual for things that Marcus says.
“No,” I admit. “I did that because I care.” His face remains indifferent. Then he leans in and kisses me on my cheek. “Did you do that because you care?” I say.
“No. I did that because I love you.”
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